


Whole Again

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Episode Related, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-05
Updated: 2004-05-05
Packaged: 2018-12-27 08:56:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12077808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian makes a confession that gives Justin the strength to follow his dreams. Takes place during and after episode #205.





	Whole Again

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Okay, well I think it’s time to go home.” announced Emmett. It had been quite a night with Michael’s new plans and then Ted’s big surprise.

“Good idea.” said Melanie. Lindsey leaned over and whispered into her ear. Melanie nodded as she stood up from the table. They all said their goodbyes and headed for the door, except Brian who had made no motion to leave, and Lindsey who was looking at him intently.

“Shouldn’t you be going with the wicked witch?” asked Brian. He knew that something was up and he was fairly sure that he wasn’t going to like it.

“Shouldn’t you be going home to Justin?” Lindsey replied, ignoring the dig at Melanie.

“I’ll go in a little bit.” Brian said, “He’s a big boy. He doesn’t need a babysitter.”

“But he does need someone, namely you. He’s lonely and confused right now.”

“You think I don’t fucking know that?” there was an edge of frustration to Brian’s voice.

“Don’t get upset with me.” Lindsey scolded.

“I’m not. It’s just really hard watching him like this, not being able to help.”

There were some things that Brian couldn’t say to anyone except Lindsey, things that he couldn’t even share with Justin or Michael. Lindsey could sense that Brian needed to talk, so she sat quietly and let him do so.

“No matter what I do, I can’t protect him. I couldn’t stop him from getting hurt. I couldn’t do anything when he was lying there bleeding. At the party, I couldn’t take away the fear he felt when he remembered the attack. He saw Chris Hobbs last week. Did you know that? He saw him and I wasn’t there to protect him. Anything could have happened. The worst was how helpless I felt every night at the hospital. I saw that he was in pain, but all I could do was watch him sleep...” Brian’s voice trailed off as he realized what he had just admitted.

“You were at the hospital? Every night?”

Brian nodded but didn’t say anything more.

“Does Justin know?”

“No.” Brian said firmly.

“You should tell him.”

“ What for?”

“Because he needs it. He needs to know that you care, and even more than that he needs to know that you believe in him.”

“How do I let him know that?”

“You’ll find a way. You always do. I took him to see my friend Adrienne’s art show today and I think she really got through to him, but he needs to hear it all from the person he trusts the most."

“He shouldn’t trust me so much.”

“But he does, and you can’t change that.”

“I’m no good for him.”

“That’s a bullshit excuse. You’re very good for him, and he is even better for you.” Brian turned his head away. Lindsey leaned over and planted a kiss on his cheek as she stood up. “Goodnight.” she said and left Brian with quite a lot to think about.

~*~*~*~*

When Brian got home, Justin was curled up on the sofa staring at the painting. Brian walked over and ran a hand through the teen’s hair. Justin looked up and attempted a brief smile before turning back to the picture in front of him. Brian sighed defeatedly. He couldn’t just stand there watching Justin, so he went to the bathroom and turned on the shower. His muscles were cramped, and the hot spray felt good. As he let the water pour over him, Brian thought about what Lindsey had said. Could he tell Justin the things he needed to hear? Could he really help him this time? Brian was filled with doubt. He left the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Justin hadn’t changed positions, so instead of going over to him, Brian grabbed an apple and stretched out on the bed. He decided that any major conversations could wait until a better time.

Justin didn’t know how long he had been staring at the painting. He had examined every line. It was oddly comforting to have something that mirrored his feelings of emptiness. Something Lindsey’s friend had said stuck with Justin. She said that if she couldn’t paint she might as well wheel herself off a cliff. That was how Justin felt, like he was dying inside. Finally Justin managed to tear his eyes away from the picture, and looked around trying to locate his favorite piece of art. There he was, lying on the bed. No matter how many times he touched him, saw him, drew him, Justin never got tired of Brian’s body. It was a masterpiece. As Justin watched him, he was overpowered by the need to draw what he saw. Before he knew what was happening, he was on his feet and over by his sketchbook and the computer-thing Brian had brought home. He settled down on the floor and picked up the stylus. Hesitantly he drew a line on the screen, then another. A figure began to take shape on the screen in front of him. Justin could feel a warm tingle in his hand and fingers. It was the magical exciting feeling he got every time he was on to something really good.

Brian finished his apple and started to get up to throw away the core.  
“Don’t move.” a voice commanded. Brian looked over and saw Justin busy at work. He carefully lay back down and tried to hide his smile. He didn’t move until he heard Justin announce that he was finished. Then he got up to see what Justin had drawn.

“Well, what do you think?” asked Justin, eager for Brian’s approval.

“Hmm, let me see.” Brian sat down behind Justin and pulled the teen close so that he was reclining on Brian’s chest. Brian let his hand slip under Justin’s shirt and gently massaged his stomach. “I like the execution, and the subject matter is perfect."

Justin giggled. “I thought you would like it."

“It’s great.” Brian let his lips fall on Justin’s neck and slowly worked his way up to Justin’s ear. “Come on Picasso.” Brian said in a low voice “You have school in the morning.”

“Brian, I can’t.” Justin tried to pull away.

“Yes you can.” Brian stood up taking Justin with him, and guiding the younger man to the kitchen counter. “Wait here he commanded as he pushed Justin onto one of the stools.

Justin watched as Brian walked into the bedroom and began searching for something in one of the drawers. Finally he found what he was looking for, and came towards Justin carrying a leather portfolio.

“At the firm, my job is to separate the good stuff from all the crap. So, I know what’s worth it and what’s garbage.” He set the portfolio down in front of Justin. Justin hesitated a moment before reaching out to open it. “This is the real thing.”

Justin looked in shock at what was before him. It was the picture he had drawn of Brian so long ago, the one from the art fair. Justin closed his eyes and traced the paper with his finger, remembering the night he had drawn it. Brian had fallen asleep after a serious sexual workout, and Justin had grabbed his sketchbook in an attempt to capture the rare peaceful moment.

“How did you get this?” It was a stupid question, but Justin had to say something.

“How do you think?”

Justin got up and wrapped his arms around Brian’s neck. Brian didn’t remember making a conscious decision to hug him back, but suddenly he realized that he was holding tightly to Justin’s slim frame.

“Thank you.” Justin whispered.

“For what?”

“For having faith in me, for helping me, for putting up with me. I’m sor...”

“Don’t apologize Justin.” Brian interrupted. “Sorry’s bullshit.”

“But I’ve been a total brat.”

“Well I’m used to that by now.” Brian could feel rather than see Justin’s smile. They still hadn’t let go of one another. After a few more minutes, Justin spoke.

“Did you ever find your lost youth?”

Brian tensed involuntarily. “You remember that?”

“I get these flashes sometimes, but I’m never sure if they really happened. That one just felt so familiar. So, did you find it?”

“Yeah, I found him, but then I almost lost him again. But I’ll no I’ve found him for sure if he follows his dream and goes back to school.” Brian pulled away slightly so that he could look into Justin’s eyes. Justin nodded and Brian leaned in to give him a deep passionate kiss that left them both breathless. Brian’s hands were already pulling Justin’s shirt off.

“That’s enough confessions for now.” he said.

“What other things are there to confess?”

“I’ll tell you some other night.” promised Brian. Justin didn’t try to argue with Brian’s tongue striving to dig deeper into his throat. He gave up and enthusiastically returned the kiss.

They made their way to the bedroom, but progression was slow between removing the remainder of Justin’s clothes, Brian had already lost the towel, and constantly seeking each other’s lips. Eventually they made it, and Brian pushed Justin down on the bed. He then began to explore every inch of Justin’s body with his tongue. The teen was in exquisite agony.

“Brian, please fuck me!” he moaned.

“You need to learn patience little boy.” Brian teased.

“I mean it.” Justin was pleading. “Do it now!”

Instead, Brian moved Justin so he was lying on his stomach. Again he used his tongue to slowly work his way down Justin’s back. He parted his cheeks and began to rim the young man’s hole. Justin cried out in pleasure as he felt the hot, wet tip burrowing into him. He was painfully hard and began to rub himself against the cool sheets in an attempt to relieve the building tension. Brian put his hands firmly on Justin’s hips to stop the motion. Justin moaned in frustration. His cock was leaking pre-cum and he felt like he was about to explode. Suddenly Brian stopped and the teen let out a pent up breath. Justin could hear Brian reach over and open the drawer where he kept the condoms.

“Turn over.” Brian commanded, and Justin readily complied. He could see that Brian was in the same condition as he was. Brian ripped open the package and put on the condom with a speed born of practice. Then, in one fluid motion, he grabbed Justin’s legs and placed them on his shoulders. Brian then positioned himself so that his cock was against Justin’s hole. He paused a moment before he began to push in slowly. Justin arched his back as a cry escaped his lips. Brian switched positions so that he was leaning over Justin, balancing on his strong arms. He was now completely buried within Justin. Brian began a slow thrust and withdrawal. It was wonderfully tortuous. Justin loved the feeling of Brian’s body on top of him, inside him, crushing his supple frame into the bed. He put his hands on Brian’s straining biceps, giving them a squeeze to urge Brian to go faster. During a particularly deep thrust, Brian leaned in to give Justin a passionate kiss. After that, things began to speed up. Justin knew that the climax was eminent. One more thrust, and they came together, Justin with a moan and Brian with a low growl.

Brian allowed Justin’s legs to slip off his shoulders, and collapsed on top of the young man. They lay there waiting for their hearts to stop racing.

“You’re pretty flexible. Maybe you should consider being a gymnast.” Brian commented when he had caught his breath enough to talk.

“That’s just one of the many perks of youth.” Justin teased, and Brian pinched a nipple. “Ow!”

“Serves you right for being a brat.” Brian retorted, “You’re not to big for me to spank you.”

“Oh, so this is going to be a busy night.”

“No, because I have work, and you have classes to attend.” Brian rolled off of Justin and began arraigning the pillow. “It’s time to sleep. Now come here.”

“Okay.” Justin said moving close, and pressing himself against Brian’s chest, their legs tangled together. He tried to hide a yawn, and failed.

“Night.” Brian said.

“Goodnight.” replied Justin. “I love you.” he said as his eyes fluttered shut. He said it almost every night even though he never got a response. Brian continued to hold Justin in his arms, and made sure that the beautiful young man was asleep before he whispered the words back.


End file.
